


Explore Your Thoughts, Stop Acting Scared - Aline

by clizzyx (Tori_Scribbles)



Series: No Matter What [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Aline solves her problems by kissing people, Aline-Centric, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Lesbian of Color, Coming Out, Confusion, F/F, Families of Choice, Future Fic, Gal-Pals, Pansexual Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis, Sexuality Crisis' Are A Bitch, i need to stop writing these, post 02x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 21:06:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tori_Scribbles/pseuds/clizzyx
Summary: “Alec’s wedding, it didn’t just affect the Lightwood family. It affected a lot of people. It made people feel less alone, even in Idris it changed something. But even that couldn’t prepare me for what it’s like here, and I wasn’t in New York long enough to notice last time. But coming here, it's like opening my eyes and seeing, feeling, like the world is different and better. It makes me feel less alone.".For years homosexuality has been frowned upon by the Clave, those who were gay never dreamed of saying the words out loud... until somebody did. When the Branwell and Lightwood families were set to unite, Alec Lightwood had other ideas. In the middle of a room filled with respected members of the Clave, Alec kissed the man he would come to love; and everything changed.Progress was slow, but it was still progress. It took time, but people finally started to open their minds to the idea that their relationships weren't sinful and wrong; they were really no different from anybody else's.A year after the war, Aline comes to the New York Institute and she finally has a chance to explore this possibility that her sexuality is more than a phase or a fling, that it was a real part of her and it was okay.





	Explore Your Thoughts, Stop Acting Scared - Aline

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from First Position by Kehlani  
> So, this is set sometime after 02x15, after the war, Valentine and Sebastian are dead. I'm gonna say this is about a year after Alec came out at his wedding.  
> The conversation between Sebastian and Aline in the park never happened.  
> Sort of set in my No Matter What Series, except Izzy and Clary broke up...  
> All of the Squad are somewhere in their twenties, except Magnus... obviously.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry if this Aline is a little OOC, I started writing this when the promo pictures dropped and we hadn't actually seen her, and I read the books so long ago, I don't really remember her in them.

Aline stepped through the portal, looking around the operations centre of the New York Institute with a content sigh.

“Aline! You’re back!”

Aline just managed to register Isabelle’s voice before her arms were around her, hugging her tightly.

“I’m back,” Aline confirmed with a laugh as they pulled away, she turned to hug Jace then Alec in turn. “And it’s good to be back,” she said, looking around the group, her eyes stopping on two unfamiliar faces.

A pretty Shadowhunter girl, with flaming red hair and even prettier green eyes. Aline tore her eyes from her to the other person, an Asian man. With no Shadowhunter runes, instead, he had an expensive looking navy suit, spikey hair and impressive, glittery eyeliner.

“This is Clary Fairchild and Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn,” Alec introduced, stepping back to stand close to Magnus. “This is Aline Penhallow, she’s a close family friend.”

Aline smiled at them, forcing her eyes not to linger on Clary.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said.

“Likewise,” Clary said with a friendly smile.

Magnus nodded, “Any friend of Alexanders…” he said with a kind smile. “And as much as I would like to stay and get acquainted, I have a client due in ten minutes and they’re quite precise about timing.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Alec said.

Isabelle grinned knowingly, “Bye Magnus.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Goodbye Isabelle, Biscuit. It was a pleasure meeting you Aline,” he said, then nodded simply at Jace. “Jace.”

Aline watched as Alec and Magnus walked down the corridor, stopping just inside the main doors, they were talking, heads bowed together closely.

Alec said something and Magnus grinned, reaching out to touch Alec’s shoulder.

Alec dipped his head, pressing his lips against Magnus’ gently.

Aline froze, she felt her pulse race at the sight. Her eyes darted to those around, Shadowhunters walking past, not even batting an eye, Jace rolling his eyes fondly, Clary and Isabelle smiling softly. An anxious wave of nausea twisted in her stomach and she forced herself to breathe, schooling her features expertly as Magnus left and Alec turned back towards them.

He had a soft smile on his lips and a light in his eyes that Aline had never seen in him before. Like he was happy, and nothing in the world mattered.

“Aline, I know you’ve just got here, but would you mind covering my patrol tonight with Izzy?” he asked a pink tinge to his cheeks.

“Hot date?” Jace asked, with a suggestive smirk.

Alec smirked in return, “Something like that,” he said before looking back to Aline who mentally shook herself.

“Ah, of course,” she said, wincing at the uncertain waver in her voice.

Alec’s grin slipped slightly, but he nodded. “Thanks.”

Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable, Aline shifted her bag on her shoulder. “I should go and unpack,” she said, glancing to Isabelle. “Same room?”

Isabelle nodded, “I’ll see you at six,” she said shortly.

Aline gave a tight smile before stepping away, moving through the familiar corridors to the living quarters, she stepped inside her room. Shutting the door, she dropped back against it trying to stop her mind from racing.

 _But they were in public,_ was all her mind kept coming back to.

_They were kissing in the middle of the Institute and nobody seemed to care. But they had too, how could Alec do something so… brave?_

.

At five minutes to six Aline strapped her blades to her back, double checking her weaponry.

Knives. _Check._

Seraph Blade. _Check._

Backup Dagger. _Check._

Stele. _Check._

Witchlight. _Check._

Zipping up her leather jacket half way, she was good to go. Walking out of her room, where she’d been hiding since her arrival, she went back down through Ops, to the front doors, where Isabelle was waiting. Scrolling absently through her phone, one hand resting casually on her Seraph Blade.

Considering they were only going on Patrol, Isabelle looked dressed to impress. A short, tight, black leather dress with three slits on either side of her waist, it came up to a high neckline and a silver necklace with a deep red pendant sat against her chest. The dress, nor the cut off leather jacket she wore, did nothing to hide her body, and the thigh-high black boots, though looked impractical with their seven inch heels, Isabelle wore flawlessly.

At the sound of Aline’s footfalls, Isabelle looked up at her, sliding her phone into her jacket pocket, Aline forced her eyes to stay on Isabelle’s.

“Are you ready to go?” Isabelle asked.

Aline swallowed and made herself nod. “Yeah,” she said, following the other Shadowhunter out of the doors and down the stone steps. “Where abouts are we going?” she asked.

“Brooklyn,” Isabelle said. “Luke, the Head of the New York Wolf Pack, has reported an increased sighting of Shax Demons. He asked Magnus to check it out considering the Wolves would prefer a Warlock to Shadowhunters. But Magnus had other plans and asked us to take his place. Said the Wolves could just deal with their issues for a night.”

At Magnus’ name, an uncomfortable wave of guilt twisted in Aline’s gut as she remembered the afternoon.

“I just wanted to say, about earlier, that I’m sorry if it seemed like I was uncomfortable with Alec and Magnus. I’m not, I swear. I’m really happy for him, it’s just that—” Aline broke off, not able to finish the sentence.

“Alec is very defensive of his relationship with Magnus, and protective of Magnus in general,” Isabelle said.

“I’m just… not used to it. I couldn’t imagine it in Idris, my parents— when we heard Alec came out, my father didn’t hide his disapproval. Neither of my parents approved of Alec becoming Head of The Institute, but I don’t share their prejudices. _Really._ I’m just not used to seeing… it,” she finished lamely, wincing at her word choice.

 _“It,”_ Isabelle said pointedly, “can be a lot to get used to.”

“I don’t need to get used to it. I prefer it here, I prefer the people here. I prefer the atmosphere and the… the openness,” she said quietly, looking up at the stars. “Alec’s wedding, it didn’t just affect the Lightwood family. It affected a lot of people. It made people feel less alone, even in Idris it changed something. But even that couldn’t prepare me for what it’s like here, and I wasn’t in New York long enough to notice last time. But coming here, it's like opening my eyes and seeing, feeling, like the world is different and better. It makes me feel less alone.

 

“When Lydia came back to Alicante, I heard her talking to my mom about how things were done differently here, about how people were more accepting, to Downworlders and relationships and everything in general. How there was less discrimination, but I didn’t quite believe her til I saw it for myself.”

Aline bit her lip as she realised she was rambling and she risked a glance at Isabelle, who was watching her with a soft smile and a look that Aline couldn’t quite place, the closest thing she could think of was curiosity.

“All of it. The Downworld, Shadowhunter relations. The acceptance. That has all been down to Alec,” Isabelle said. “I don’t think he quite realises the impact he’s had on people’s lives.”

“He’s an incredible leader,” Aline said.

Isabelle smiled. “He is.”

.

The next morning after breakfast Aline headed straight to Alec’s office, watching as he hung his coat up, brushing the rain out of his hair, a to-go coffee cup sat on his desk like he’d picked it up on the way here.

Aline knocked on the doorframe lightly and Alec turned to face her with a smile.

“Aline, Isabelle told me about last night, nice job with the Shax Demon nest, the New York Wolf Pack sends its thanks,” he said, moving to stand behind his desk, his fingers bouncing on the edge of the table.

“Just doing my job,” she said. “Which is why I’m here, any assignments for me?”

“No, you just got here and you’re supposed to be on vacation, take a day off from killing demons,” he said.

“Urgh, that’s so boring though,” she joked and Alec chuckled as he sat down, Aline dropped into the chair opposite. “So,” she prompted, “how was your date?” Alec faltered slightly and Aline rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, we used to tell each other everything, why should we stop now just because we’re adults?”

Alec hesitated a moment before smiling. “It was really nice, we went to a restaurant by the river in Amsterdam and then we portalled back to Magnus’ for the uh… rest of the evening.” His blush darkened and Aline laughed.

“The _evening,_ huh?”

Alec rolled his eyes but smiled.

“Angel, you’ve changed so much since we were kids. You used to seem so unsure of yourself and now look at you. Head of the New York Institute, boyfriend to the most powerful person in New York,” she said softly. “I’m proud of you and I’m so happy for you.”

Alec’s smile softened. “Thanks, Aline,” he said. “That really means a lot.”

She grinned, “So, tell me more about Magnus?”

.

Over the next week Aline settles into a comfortable routine, she doesn’t go out on missions unless she absolutely has to, instead she tries to take Alec’s suggestion and relax. So, when she’s not in the training room, she spends most of her free time lounging around in Alec’s office.

Most of the time she doesn’t even talk to him, she just takes a book and curls up on his couch and they do their own thing. Part of her doesn’t even know why she does it, why she’s most comfortable there, and then the other part of her, relishes in the comfort, the feeling of security that comes with being with Alec.

She doesn’t spend _all_ of her time in Alec’s office, at one point Isabelle came in and dragged her down to the morgue for an opinion on a set of labs, or she took her shopping with Clary. Several times Jace comes looking for a sparring partner, and if Alec’s busy, Aline normally goes with him.

Which is how she found herself punching Jace in the face.

He stumbled backwards with a grunt, twisting round to kick her but she arched her body away with ease. As he reaches out to grab her, she ducks under his arm and slides her arm around his throat. Jace ducks forwards and Aline’s has to let go and roll to the side so as not to get crushed, as she goes to push herself up, Jace has hold of her arm, twisting it up her back.

She tries to kick out at him but he just twists her arm further. Aline huffs, slamming her other palm against the floor with a scowl, the last thing she wants is a dislocated shoulder. Jace instantly let go and she rolls onto her back to look up at him. Rolling her eyes at his cocky grin, she kicked out at his shin half-heartedly as she tried to catch her breath.

“Urgh, shut up with your cockiness and help me up,” she groaned, holding out her hand. Jace took it, pulling her off of the floor, she stood in front of him, looking up at him with her head tilted to the side curiously, her eyes flicking to his lips.

 _How hard could it be_? She thought. _To be with a guy?_

_Surely kissing a guy couldn’t be any different to a girl, just… manlier?_

_She knew she liked girls but… perhaps she could like boys too? That way she could be with a guy and nothing else had to matter… Right?_

“Aline?” Jace asked. “Are you oka—”

Before he could finish the sentence, Aline reached up, pressing her lips against his. Jace froze at the contact. As she kissed him she prayed for some, _any_ sort of feeling that this was what she wanted, but there was nothing.

Kissing Jace was like kissing a brick wall. There was no emotional connection and it was just a little bit random.

She pulled away, refusing to look Jace in the eyes and took several steps back.

“Aline, what was—”

“I’m sorry,” she said honestly. “I’m really sorry.” She stumbled backwards before all but running out of the training room ignoring Jace calling after her.

She practically ran through the Institute, looking for somewhere without people, somewhere she could hide and never have to look anyone in the eye ever again.

Dodging Max, she ducked into the greenhouses, knowing none of the Lightwoods were likely to follow her in here and Jace probably wouldn’t want to see her anytime soon, so she was safe.

Jumping up, she balanced perfectly on one of the beams, creeping along to the edge of the roof, dropping down so her legs hung either side of the wooden beam, twenty feet off of the floor.

_Of all the people she could have kissed, it had to be Jace?_

_Jace with the reputation. Jace who’s gonna think it means something. Jace who’s going to think she was into him… When he couldn’t be more wrong._

She couldn’t do it.

Being _with a_ man, even kissing one, it made her feel sick. It just wasn’t… right. The pieces didn’t fit together.

It wasn’t just about her though. She had to think about her family.

Her mother, Consul of the Clave. A scandal like her daughter being… not being heterosexual, could ruin her career.

 _But would it?_ A small voice at the back of her mind asked. _The Lightwood name was in shambles before the wedding, and sure there was a hell of a rumour mill immediately afterwards but now… Now Alec was head of one of the most prestigious Institutes in the world, his family loved him and supported him, he had an incredible boyfriend. He made history with the most progressive Shadowhunter, Downworlder Councils the Shadow World had ever seen. And none of that would have happened if Alec hadn’t have accepted that part of himself._

She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, but at the sound of footsteps she forced the thoughts to the back of her mind, she couldn’t take the risk, not now, she had too much to lose.

Instead, she dried her face and looked down to see Isabelle staring up at her, her head tilted to the side curiously.

“Do I want to ask?” she asked.

Aline merely shrugged.

“Jace told me you ran out on him, and that he was worried because he couldn’t find you. Do I need to kick his ass?” Isabelle raised an eyebrow questioningly and Aline knew that the offer was genuine.

“No.” Aline shook her head. “It was my fault. How did you find me?”

Isabelle held up the grey water bottle that Aline had left in the training room and then her hand which had an already fading tracking rune on her palm.

“You could have just texted me,” Aline said and Isabelle held up a familiar cell phone pointedly. “Right.” Aline ducked her head with a slight smile, swinging her leg forwards over the beam, sliding off and down to the floor, landing in a seamless crouch, before rising up to her feet. She took her phone and her water bottle back with a quiet word of thanks and went to step away.

“Hey,” Isabelle said softly, reaching out to catch her arm. Aline turned back towards her, watching as Isabelle gave a concerned frown, “Are you okay?”

Aline forced herself to give a small smile and nod. “Yeah,” she said. “I’m fine.”

Isabelle’s frown deepened but she didn’t press, just slid her hand down Aline’s arm to squeeze her hand. “Well, whatever it is, _or isn’t,_ I’m here. If you want to talk, or don’t, whichever.” She smiled, “just know I’m here, we all are.”

Isabelle’s hand in hers seemed to burn hotter than natural, and Aline gave a soft, real smile. “Thanks, Iz,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Isabelle bowed her head in a slight nod and smiled, her eyes never leaving Aline’s, “Of course.”

Allergies apparently catching up with her, Isabelle ducked her head as she sneezed, taking her hand away from Aline’s to cover her face.

Aline laughed, and just like that, any hint of a moment was gone.

.

After that day in the greenhouse, the almost, maybe moment, Aline couldn’t _not_ think about Isabelle

It didn’t help that their bedrooms were literally next door to each other’s, and they seemed to have a similar routine in the morning.

 _Leave their rooms at 0700._  
Training 0715  
Breakfast 0830  
Go to Operations for assignments 0900

No matter where Aline seemed to go, Isabelle was somewhere nearby.

Isabelle was beautiful, not just her body. But her mind, her courage, her skill, her grace, her heart, her soul. Isabelle was _just_ beautiful, and she was desperately trying to broaden Aline’s fashion sense.

“C’mon, don’t be so much like Alec for once, just try it on!” Isabelle said, pressing a dress into Aline’s hands.

“Iz, _it’s green!”_ Aline said, holding the very short, very frilly, very green dress in front of her in distaste.

 _“And?”_ Isabelle rolled her eyes, snatching the dress back. “Fine, try…” She dug through her closet pulling out another dress, holding it up in front of Aline with an expectant raised eyebrow.

Aline sighed dramatically, looking the dress up and down. It was nicer than the last, a dark purple, almost black. It looked tight fitting and short with a high neckline, that twisted around at the back of the neck.

Isabelle held the dress against Aline’s body, her fingers brushing across the exposed skin on the insides of her shoulders. She was, Aline noticed with hitched breath, standing incredibly close. Their faces, their bodies just inches apart.

Aline’s eyes flickered from Isabelle’s eyes to her lips several times, her lips were moving, but Aline couldn’t hear what she was saying over the electric buzzing in her ears.

Aline doesn’t even think about it, she closes the gap, one hand coming up to cup Isabelle’s cheek, the other resting on her waist, she kissed her.

Isabelle tensed under Aline’s touch momentarily before she melted into her. Aline felt the purple dress slide to the floor and Isabelle move closer. Her hands coming up, one hand going to Aline’s cheek, the other to the back of her neck. Their lips moulded together perfectly and all Aline could think was _yeah, I definitely like girls…_

Remembering suddenly where she was and what she was doing, Aline froze pulling back sharply.

“Oh, by the Angel, I’m so sorry. I didn’t – I wasn’t – _filius gloria_. I’m sorry. I should—” Aline went to step away, to leave, to hide, to never show her face again.

Isabelle caught her arm before she could make it two steps, tugging her back to where she was standing before.

Aline opened her mouth to say something but swallowed her words as Isabelle pressed her lips against hers. Softer and shorter than before, but with no less intention.

When they parted, Aline looked up nervously at her, her eyes widening at Isabelle’s soft smile.

“I kissed Jace,” she blurted out before she could stop herself.

Isabelle’s eyes widened momentarily in surprise before she laughed. “Are you making your way through all of the Lightwoods? Is Alec next? I mean, Max might be a little young…”

Aline scrunched up her nose and shook her head. “I don’t think Alec or I would enjoy that very much,” she admitted softly.

“So Jace?” Isabelle queried gently, her hand still on her arm, guiding her over to sit on the end of the bed.

“I just – I had to see if I could… ya know?” Aline trailed off, not ready to say the words.

“And could you?”

Aline shook her head. “No. When I was uh, about fourteen, there was this girl, Carolyn. She was beautiful, we weren’t dating, not really, everyone just thought we were friends, _best_ friends. We never told anyone, but Sebastian, the _real_ Sebastian, he walked into my room one day without knocking and he saw us kissing. He was so great about it, he promised he would never tell anyone and he didn’t. But Carolyn, she didn’t want to hide, she told her parents and a week later her family got reassigned and I – I never saw her again.

“I convinced myself it was just experimenting, or that it didn’t have to mean I didn’t like boys, that I could still…. get married to a man and have an ordinary life and not… not ruin my family.” Aline looked away, brushing a stray tear.

“Aline,” Isabelle murmured, reaching out, wrapping her arms around her, Aline’s head dropped down to Isabelle’s shoulder as she tried to get a hold of herself.

“This is so stupid,” she sobbed. “I’ve known, I’ve known for years. I don’t know why—”

“Because you’ve ignored it,” Isabelle said quietly, combing her fingers through Aline’s hair. “Because you lied to yourself, you’ve hidden a part of yourself from everybody for so long, that when you don’t have to hide anymore, it’s scary. By the Angel when I finally admitted it to myself, I was terrified to tell Alec _and Magnus._ People I knew who wouldn’t judge me or hate me. As for parents… I honestly don’t know. Jace and I… we had it pretty easy, Alec took the brunt of it. Even then, our parents weren’t happy at first, but after they had time to adjust, Mom’s okay with it now, and Dad… well, what he thinks doesn’t really matter around here anymore.”

Aline raised her head, looking up at her, Isabelle brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, letting her hand come to rest behind her ear.

“What do I do?” she asked quietly.

“Be patient with yourself, then, when you can, admit it to yourself,” Isabelle replied equally as gently. “Say the words aloud to yourself, and then—then say the words to someone you trust, then to someone else; and each time you say it; it will get easier and easier.”

Another tear rolled down her cheek and Aline dropped her head back down on Isabelle’s shoulder.

_Yeah, that’s easier said than done._

_._

Aline tried for a week. A week to say the words aloud. But she couldn’t and it was slowly gnawing away at her.

Every time she looked at Alec, or Jace, or Magnus, or Isabelle she felt an overwhelming amount of self-hatred. Every time she saw them she was reminded of her cowardice, that she couldn’t admit it a basic part of herself.

Over the week Isabelle never said a word on the topic, she acted as though nothing had ever happened, and that was the only bright side. Because when she was with Isabelle, she could feel like everything was normal. Like there was nothing wrong with the world; nothing wrong with her.

On the morning of the seventh day, Aline stood in front of her bathroom mirror, taking a deep breath as her reflection stared back at her.

“I er—” The words caught in the back of her throat. She sighed and tried again. “I’m ga—”

 _Be patient with yourself._ Isabelle’s voice echoed through her mind.

Aline closed her eyes, picturing Alec, her first friend, her best friend. She pulls the memory of him standing on the steps in Ops, giving out orders, holding the attention and respect of the room like he was born to rule. Before he turned to hug his mother, she reminded him how proud she is before stepping away, her smile not wavering as Alec turns to kiss his boyfriend. He kisses him softly on the steps in the middle of the Institute like it’s easier than breathing, maybe for Alec being with Magnus was.

Aline sees how the Shadowhunters under his command respect him without a shadow of a doubt. She sees his career growing, his family loving him, he sees him being happy. Without the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Looking at Alec’s life, Aline see’s that coming out didn’t make Alec’s life _easier_ per say, but it made it lighter, truer.

She opened her eyes, staring at her reflection with a new found courage. A courage that comes from those who love her.

“I don’t want to be with a man,” she whispered, starting small. “I like girls,” she goes on, every word seeming to slip of her tongue easier than the last. “I’m gay.” A small laugh burst out of nowhere as she realised what she had done, what she had admitted. Her eyes burnt and her heart grew lighter. “I’m gay,” she said again, slightly louder than before, with less uncertainty than before. “I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gay.”

Brushing her tears away, she grinned. Rushing from her bathroom, through her room and into the corridor she banged on Isabelle’s door.

“Alright, alright, hold on,” Isabelle’s voice came muffled from inside but Aline couldn’t stop until the door opened and she shoved her way into the room. “Aline, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

Isabelle closed the door, turning to face Aline who was practically bouncing with pent up excitement.

“I’m gay,” she said, the words confident and certain. As she sees the understanding settle in Isabelle’s eyes as she registered the words and grinned. At her smile, Aline felt another weight lift off of her shoulders.

“I’m pansexual,” Isabelle admitted in turn.

Aline gave another giddy laugh, before surging forwards, hugging Isabelle tightly for a moment before pulling away.

“Jace!” she exclaimed in realisation. “I have to apologise to Jace, and I can explain now and—” she broke off, not even knowing where she was going with that sentence as she was already reaching for the door.

Isabelle laughed.  “Go,” she said. “Go, enjoy this.”

And Aline did.

She rushed through the Institute to the training room, knowing that Jace would be there at this time of the morning because she had been avoiding the training room at this time of the day for the past week for that very reason.

Jace looked up from where he was throwing knives at a dummy at the sound of footsteps.

“Aline?” he said in surprise, giving her unwavering smile a weary look. “I thought you were avoiding me? Or are you here to kiss me again?”

“No,” she admitted. “I’m here to apologise, and explain.” Jace raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry for kissing you,” she starts. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea—”

“You’ve been avoiding me all week, I get the—”

“Hush, let me speak,” she interrupted him. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, and I’m sorry for using you.” Jace frowned, Aline held up a warning finger before he could interrupt again. “I kissed you to see if I could do it. If I could be comfortable with it; with a man.” A soft look of realisation settled on Jace’s face. “I’ve been trying to convince myself for a while that I could do it and I can’t, because I don’t like men… because I’m gay.”

When he was certain that she had finished he grinned, not saying anything he stepped forwards, sweeping her up into his arms tightly.

“Okay,” Jace whispered in her ear, “Okay, you’re gay, it changes nothing; nothing about our relationship.” He set her back on her feet, brushing a stray tear off of her cheek with his knuckle. “Okay?” She nodded, giving him a watery smile. Jace stepped back into her space, kissing her forehead softly. “I’m happy for you, and for the record.” He smirked, “I’m glad I could help.”

Aline laughed, swatting at his chest half-heartedly, she smiled up at him.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

Jace just took a step back, with a soft smile on his lips and a wink.

.

Next Aline made her way towards Alec’s office, not even thinking about it, before strolling in without knocking

“Alec, I need to talk to— Oh, ew, by the Angel! I’m sorry!”

She stumbled backwards as Alec pulled his mouth away from Magnus’ abs, his face slowly turning several shades of red.

Magnus raised a perfect eyebrow, buttoning his shirt back up with an unashamed smirk.

“Angel, haven’t you ever heard of locking a door?” she said, her bubble slowly deflating.

“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” Alec retorted, straightening his clothes and rising to his feet.

“Urgh, no. Don’t worry,” she said, retreating towards the door. “I’ll er—I’ll come back and leave you two to er—”

“Aline?” Alec caught her arm, his voice soft with an underlying note of concern. “What’s wrong?” he asked, she looked up at him and shook her head.

“Nothing,” she said. “Really, nothings _wrong._ I just… I wanted to say thank you,” she said with a soft smile, making Alec’s frown deepen.

“For what?”

“For this.” She gestured between him and Magnus pointedly. “Well, not for not locking your door. I just didn’t need the image of you straddling your shirtless boyfriend in my head but… thank you for helping me with it all and—”

Alec shook his head. “Aline, what are you talking about?”

She huffed slightly, mentally rolling her eyes at herself. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Magnus rise gracefully to his feet, stepping up behind Alec, a knowing smile on his lips.

“I’m gay,” she blurted out, then sighed. “That is not how I wanted to do that,” she muttered. “But I am,” she went on. “I’m gay, or a lesbian, or whatever you want to label it. I’m _really_ into girls, and now I’ve said it once I literally cannot stop saying it. Also, I kissed your sister… and your brother—” At Magnus’ gentle laugh she broke off her rambling and reigned herself in. Taking a steadying breath she got a hold of herself. Looking back up at Alec, who was looking very unsure right now.

“I wanted to say thank you, for having the courage to come out. To stand in front of several members of the Clave and… kiss Magnus, because if you hadn’t done that… I don’t think I ever would have admitted my feelings to myself. I would have just… ignored it and made myself even more uncomfortable. I need you to know how much of a difference you have made to my life and I’ve spent the past week trying to borrow some of your courage and openness to admit these things to myself and I don’t think I can ever thank you enough.”

Alec’s hand slid from Aline’s elbow to her shoulder, using his other hand to brush away her tears just like Jace had done.

“Aline… I don’t—”

“Thank you,” she said, her voice cracking. “Just, _thank you!”_

Alec reached down, pulling her into his arms like he would with Izzy, and he held her tightly as she took several shaky breaths.

“Who else knows?” Alec asked against her hair.

“Izzy and Jace, a girl that I grew up with and… and Sebastian, the real Sebastian knew,” she said, her heart aching for her cousin.

“Your parents?”

Aline shook her head against his chest. “Dad’ll be mad,” she murmured. “It’ll ruin Mom’s career.”

Alec chuckled slightly humorously. “Yeah, that sounds familiar, but you never know,” he said. “They might surprise you, and if they don’t… then you’re always welcome here.”

Aline bit her lip to stop herself from crying again and she pulled away.

“I should let you get back to… whatever you were doing, please sterilise the couch, it's comfortable, I would like to sit on it again,” she said, then looked to Magnus. “Thanks,” she finished quieter.

Magnus inclined his head with a warm smile. “Of course. Is anyone in this Institute _actually_ heterosexual?” he asked, looking between them. “I feel like we’ll be able to spell out the entire LGBTQ+ between us all soon.”

“LGBT… what?”

Alec waved his hand in his _hold on a minute_ gesture. “Please, can we keep the rest of the LGBTQ+ acronym lessons for _after_ I have had coffee please, but to answer _your_ question Magnus, L, G, B.” He gestured to Aline, himself and Magnus in turn. “Diana’s the T, Raj is the Q, I? I don’t think we’ve got anybody for I. Raphael for A.” He scrunched up his face as if trying to remember the correct order. “P is for Iz… I can never remember it after that, but yeah, we’ve got most of the acronym covered.”

Aline looked up at the two of them, head tilted to the side a look of clear confusion on her face.

_“Huh?”_

“See,” Magnus said, “now I have to explain, because otherwise she is going to be left confused and will end up googling it and may end up finding the acronym where A stands for Ally and that is simply unacceptable.”

Alec gave an exaggerated sigh and a dramatic roll of his eyes. “Can we at least have this conversation en route to the kitchen, so I can pretend I’m closer to getting caffeine?”

Now it was Magnus’ turn to roll his eyes. “Alexander, Dear, you’re Head of the Institute, can you not get a coffee machine in your office?” Alec opened his mouth to reply but thought better of it and shook his head. Magnus smiled slightly. “Lead the way to the garbage this place calls coffee.”

As Aline walked between Magnus and Alec through the Institute, trying to keep up as Magnus jumped between listing acronyms, to the difference between romantic and sexual attraction. It got to the stage where Aline felt as if she were floating. Like she was high on faerie magic and was hallucinating the fact that she was walking through one of the most uptight Institutes in the Shadow World discussing LGBT+ - the plus was very important, apparently – with the Head of the Institute and a High Warlock as if they were just discussing the weather.

When the stepped in the kitchen Jace and Isabelle were already there, Isabelle was leaning against the breakfast bar, watching Jace cook, judging by the scowl on her face, she had been cooking and had been forcibly removed away from the food for everyone’s safety.

“How’re you doing?” Isabelle asked as Aline came to stand next to her.

“It’s crazy,” Aline admitted. “It’s all just so crazy.”

“Yeah.” Isabelle linked her arm through Aline’s. “Yeah, it is.”

And as Aline stood in the middle of the Institutes kitchen, watching as Alec and Magnus bickered good heartedly about if the acronym was better as _LGBT+ or LGBTQ+_ and Isabelle inched closer to the food every few minutes, and every few minutes Jace would waft her away with a spatula. She couldn’t help but think to herself, that if her parents couldn’t accept this, if they couldn’t love her as a lesbian, then maybe it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Maybe she could find a permanent place here. With an accepting, diverse family who could love her for _who she was,_ not who they wanted her to be.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Translations:**  
>  Filius Gloria - Son of a Bitch - Latin (because obviously Aline speaks, and curses, in Latin)
> 
> Please let me know what you think?  
>  **Find me on[tumblr?](http://lesbianalinex.tumblr.com/)**


End file.
